Beepilepsy kills thousands every hour

Beepilepsy is an involuntary spasm caused by the beeping, buzzing, or vibration of a piece of electronic equipment, especially equipment worn in clothing, such as a cell phone or pager. Generally, the severity of spells of beepilepsy decreases with time, but cases are known in which, after two years of familiarity with a given piece of equipment, the beepileptic spasms of one sufferer still reliably amuse acquaintances and passersby.
Wow, it's about time someone finally flipped epilepsy! This word just makes me laugh. Beepilepsy has been created! I'm not sure why I'm so happy - but who cares? It's plain awesome. Next time people break their neck to glance your direction after your cell phone vibrates in public you should say "Can I help you? I'm a beepileptic bitch! Mind your business."

Ladies.....don't play with guns.

One word applies to this video - priceless.

Stop and get out of your chair right now!

I want to feel bad for this 900-pound man, but I just can't. You think when he reached 500 lbs, or when he's started calling his wife to come wipe him - he would've sought help. I do just love the quote from the young reporter "he sat in a lazy-boy chair for the rest of his life." Dramatic!

**Put another quarter in the jukebox**

Today I sat in front of 2 computer screens for 9 hours.
Strenuous is what comes to mind. Bloodshot is what comes to eye.
My contacts have been giving me a ton of trouble lately. Each day I go to work,I strive to have clear eyes and take pride in my somewhat intelligent appearance. Each day I come up short like a Roloff's foot on the gas pedal. My eyes burn worse that a jalapeno-lotion inspired handjob. No bueno. I'm thinking of getting Lasic eye surgery once I can afford it. I'm sure 30 years down he road my eyelids will droop below my cheekbones like saggy breasts - but for now, I think the operation will be worth the constant look of Royal Highness.

Snow Haze

Here's a quick pic of what's to come this season: white powder body massages, intense learning curve from babee, exploding aerial jumps through fiery rings, grinding 100 feet of rail blindfolded, riding backwards down a double-black run, back flips at sunset,and handcuffed handstands. Since I like to compliment myself every now and again I would just like to say "Looking sharp Escobar.....looking sharp kid!"
Oh how the snow makes me cold, wrinkly, and white like a rotting corpse. But there are two positives to every negative: 1) it sure is exhilarating and 2) My babee is the best instructor this side of the Mississippi.

Just Keeping It Real

To embrace a new life is to embrace change. Change is key in life, and key to love. I've been in Denver almost half a year and I think I have been quite successful. I have grown closer and closer to Monica and have landed two separate (and very different)jobs at law firms. The first job dealing with bankruptcy didn't work out. George T. Carlson was Garbage T. Work.

My second job has been great thus far.
Foreclosure......ahhhhhhhh breathe it in. You know it goes down good when closure is in the title of your business.

After all the dark years in my past, I finally feel like I've done something on my own. I'm keeping it real.

I'm proven.